a way to find happiness and finding a passion in life
Sunday, 23 June 2013
Part 2 ........
In January 2009 I was diagnosed with Anorexia ,just before my birthday.
The next few months were pretty much hell I was off from school for three months straight and was not interested in anything apart from being a kid. I refused to eat by myself therefore my parents fed me at the age of 14. The real reason was because I was afraid of being alone and desperate for someone to feel my pain and suffering. Looking back now that does seem extreme and rather quite weird but it happened and is part of the recovery process along with having these disgusting high calorie drinks which were vile and quite honestly hopefully will never have to ever drink those ever again. Weight was a small part to play as I hated my body but what I really wanted was to be someone else. Friends were a real struggle for me as I chose to not respond to anyone in my group, but was rather touched when they all made me a get well soon card, which was rather sweet and was very incredibly grateful for them doing such a sweet gesture. In the month of April I awoke one morning and made the decision I was going to recover and get my life back once and for all so I went downstairs prepared and ate my breakfast(sounds easy right ?) Unfortunately I forgot the feelings and emotions that would reoccur afterwards. WHAT ARE YOU DOING MAKING YOURSELF FAT ? I chose to ignore the negative energy and focus on who I really am as a person. Over the next few months things were beginning to look a whole lot better. I went back to school to finish my Gscse's and really put the effort into getting the best possible grades I can get. For two years I was stable with my anorexia I was neither recovered or back to my old ways I just learned to cope with now. Occasionally would fall behind several steps ,although I was rigorously counting calories and obsessed with creating the perfect meal plans for when I was older . Which sounds ridiculous and your right it really was, little did I know I started to fear the amount of TV I was watching and how long I spent on the computer ,feeling very guilty if I went over my time limit.
Marilyn Monroe Quote : "I believe everything happens for a reason ! People change so you can learn to let go , things go wrong so that you can appreciate them when they are right. You believe lies so that you will eventually trust no one but yourself and sometimes, good things fall apart so better things can fall together